Tua

About 13 years ago while at work one day some friends showed up with a stray dog they had found. The day before they had seen him get rolled under a truck as he darted into traffic in a panic. He was this big black fuzzy thing that was friendly yet timid. Fast movement and loud noise put him in a panic. When they introduced us and asked if I had any interest in taking him I knew immediately I did. I was in no position to be taking a dog and really had no interest prior to this moment in having the responsibility. But the moment I met Tua I absolutely knew I wanted to get to know this wise old soul. I saw something in those scared yet trusting brown eyes. I needed him in my life. I knew there were things he could teach me. I knew he needed someone he could trust.

Since that time he has come to work with me nearly every day. He's traveled with us on climbing and hiking trips all over the country and into Canada. Even while wearing his bright green collar he's been mistaken for a wolf and a bear by strangers on the trail. Everyone has an opinion as to what he his. We call him Black Dog. He understands English. He knows when we spell t-r-e-a-t. He LOVES the ball. He likes to sniff the air that comes out of a new can of tennis balls as it's opened. He's a great judge of character so when he barks at someone, I know to pay attention. He can sound and look mean if he wants but is actually a big wuss. (Don't tell anyone)

He's a great companion in the woods. We've come to know each other well. He'll run with me for miles day after day. He's helped me find other people's lost dogs. He knows things. A few years ago one of our neighbors told me one of there dogs had gone missing a few days earlier and they feared it had been killed by something. I took Tua out and let him lead the way on a walk of their property. After about an hour I noticed he was curious about something ahead of us so I told him to go get it. He led me to a tree up ahead. When I got there he looked concerned about what he had found. I looked around the tree and all I could see was the headless body of a dog. As I got closer I realized it wasn't dead. Then I realized the dog had gone in a hole in the base of the tree while chasing something and had gotten stuck. It was less than a hundred yards from it's home but couldn't get out. Had Tua not found her she would have slowly died within sight of her home. A few weeks later our other neighbor had her two miniature Pincers go missing on a warm winter day. That night we were supposed to get sub-zero temps and a snowstorm. Tua and I went out and spent three hours following little footprints in the snow. We finally came to an open area and he immediately wanted to head for the opposite side. I continued to follow the ever-wandering footprints and eventually caught up with Tua who had already found the two dogs hiding behind a large snowdrift. The three of them became fast friends on the two mile walk home.

Tua is good friends with our cats as well. They occasionally chase his wagging tail and he always looks ashamed when he discovers we're watching.

I've only met a couple of people that didn't like him and frankly, I think they weren't very likable themselves. I've never met another animal that didn't like him. In the fall he'll lay absolutely still on the porch and watch the turkeys walk through the yard. He eventually becomes too curious and needs to go say hello. Turkeys don't want to say hello to dogs.

Today I took Tua for a long walk in the woods. It was just the two of us. He trotted around, ate snow and deer poop. I wish I could get him to stop eating deer poop. He laid in the sun and sniffed the breeze. I sat in the sun and enjoyed watching him.

Two months ago we learned that Tua has cancer. In the past three weeks the tumor in his mouth has become so large that he can no longer eat or drink without our help. Three nights ago he and I were hanging out after Jen and Molly had gone to bed, I looked at him and knew immediately that his time had come. I knew it was coming soon but could tell that he wasn't ready yet. I now think he wasn't ready because he knew I wasn't. I sat with him for an hour and cried until he got fed-up and told me we needed to go be with Jen and Molly in bed. The next day he began to refuse food and water. He now sleeps much of the day and is restless at night. Tomorrow Jen and Molly will join us and we'll go out for one last walk as a family. In the late afternoon our vet will come to the house and this life will be over for Tua. We'll keep the other pets in the house. This isn't something they need to witness. Tua will probably lay in his favorite spot on the porch where he can feel the sun and wind and look over the entire property. I'll hold him, stroke his head gently and be sure he can look me in the eyes. I'll watch the light fade from those kind, gentle brown eyes and in a matter of seconds he'll be gone.

There's something to be said for friends that can't speak. When there are no words we're forced to pay attention to more subtle things. There's a bond that develops that I doubt would be possible otherwise. Words serve as distraction from what is truly going on. They can be used to hide behind. They can be used to hurt. Silence is intimate and therefore frightening for most. My best friends are the ones I can sit with quietly and just be. Tua taught me that.